What if
by mtm
Summary: My take on what happened after the end of "So long and thanks for all the red snapper".


**A/N:** After my previous angsty fic, I was asked by several of you to write something happier. This takes place after the end of the last episode "So long and thanks for all the red snapper". It is completely without a plot and my attempt at a fluffy fic. I'm out of my comfort zone with this one so read at your own peril:)

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**What if…**

Lisbon was walking slowly along the beach, the golden sand tickling her bare feet while the gentle wind was toying with her dark hair. It was pleasantly warm and she had removed her jacket, which she dangled from one hand and her shoes from the other. She had rolled her jeans up as far as they went, which wasn't further than halfway up her calf, but it made her cooler along with her white tank top. And what was more important, nobody would think that she was a cop based on how she looked.

On this beach, she could be anonymous, just another woman enjoying the sun. There was nobody else in sight and she enjoyed the solitude.

The case and meeting with Greg after so long had really poked something deep inside her, making her re-evaluate her choices and to take a moment to really look at her life. Usually she didn't bother second guessing as it never did any good and she didn't regret her career at all. But she had to admit that seeing her ex-fiancé with a wife and three children made her think how her life would have turned around if she had stayed with Greg.

She knew that she wasn't ugly or a bad person, but for some reason she had never been in a situation where she would have been considering children or marriage. She easily admitted to herself that sometimes it hurt that she wouldn't experience the first kicks of an unborn baby or go through childbirth and breastfeeding. She would never watch a child to grow up, never would know the worry or the love of a parent.

As she let her mind freely to attend to whatever interesting tidbit it found in her brain, poking at the scabs and scars she carried, she grudgingly had to admit that maybe some introspection wasn't a bad thing. Thinking about having children made her realize that she had almost fully accepted that it wasn't for her and that it hurt less than she would have thought.

What bothered her more was the feelings that her being alone dredged up. She wasn't terribly social person by nature and she was intensely private, but she had to admit that she would have preferred to have a partner to share her life with. Somebody who could accept her and would give her enough space, but would also allow her to love them in return, but who could understand that theirs would never be a conventional relationship.

Lisbon was deep in thought as she slowly walked, however her thoughts were becoming more diffuse, descending into vague feelings rather than clear concepts, as the warm sun, soft sand, gentle breeze and the sound of rolling surfs were invading her senses.

She mused to herself that maybe there was something to the theory of mindfulness as she soaked in her surroundings and decided to stop and sit against a piece of driftwood. She wanted just to enjoy the moment and it looked like letting her mind roam freely, released from the usual tight control, made it easier for her subconscious to deal with things.

Lisbon settled down on the sand, her back against the warm, smooth surface of the wood. The sun was warm on her face, but the wind made sure it wasn't too hot. The waves were almost hypnotically rolling in and out and Lisbon's eyes followed the gentle rhythm of the ocean.

XXX

Jane had been looking for Lisbon for some time, but nobody seemed to know where she was. Finally he went back to Greg's boat, although he didn't think she would stay there for any length of time, but maybe she had at least said where she was heading next.

Greg was on the pier, sorting out the ropes and looked surprised to see Jane. He did, however, provide Jane with a clue where she could be as Greg said that Lisbon had asked for the quietest part of the beach where they had found the body.

Jane took off the same way and found himself on an empty beach, with a trail of footsteps in front of him.

Jane followed the trail and soon noticed that Lisbon had removed her shoes and continued barefoot. The sight of small footsteps made him all warm and a smile formed on his lips. The woman, who was always professional and so fierce, had finally let her hair down.

It made him hesitate for a second before continuing as it was clear that Lisbon wanted to enjoy the solitude and might not take it kindly that he was intruding. He just wanted to make sure that she was all right as she had been so distant during the case.

Soon he stopped to remove his jacket and to roll his sleeves up as well as his trousers. He also took off his socks and shoes and took off his vest and bundled everything inside his jacket which he continued to carry.

He closed his eyes for a moment to enjoy the feel of the warm sand, the sun on his face and the cool wind in his hair and tugged his shirt free from his trousers so that it was flapping freely in the wind. He sighed with a pure pleasure for the feel of freedom and hoped that Lisbon had also taken the opportunity to enjoy the day.

He slowly carried on, following the trail and enjoyed the sound of the waves and the broad horizon of the blue sea.

Eventually he saw the piece of driftwood close to the edge of the sea and saw Lisbon's dark hair peeking from over the top. The sight of her made him unconsciously smile and he adjusted his bearings so that he was walking on the wet sand, clearly visible to Lisbon as he didn't want to startle her.

XXX

Lisbon had been sitting down for some time, enjoying the day and being aware for the first time for a long time, how nice and peaceful it was. She felt like she had recharged her batteries for the rest of the year by just sitting on this beach for the past hour. She swore to herself to return here regularly as she hadn't felt this relaxed in years.

As she was lazily gazing out to the sea, she notices in the corner of her eye somebody approaching. Her natural walls started to go up and she felt herself tensing, but then she realized who it was and she relaxed again. Even Jane seemed relaxed and carefree as he came towards her, walking through the wet sand and rolling waves.

He changed his course and came towards her as Lisbon raised her hand to shield her eyes to better look at him.

He was smiling broadly and looked relaxed and genuinely happy, something she hadn't seen for some time. The sight of him in a white loose shirt flowing in the wind and his bare feet with his trousers rolled up made her heart skip couple of beats. Damn, the man was handsome and he didn't even realize it.

"Hi," Lisbon said to him as he approached.

"Hi yourself," Jane answered smiling and plopped himself down next to her. He shuffled his bottom until he was comfortable on the sand and leaned back against the piece of wood, his shoulder touching Lisbon's.

She was slightly startled by it as Jane usually avoided touching people, but his solid and warm presence was comforting and pleasant so she decided just to accept it without thinking too much.

"Hmm, this is comfortable," Jane hummed after a while, his eyes closed.

Lisbon glanced at him and smiled at the sight of his face, turned towards the sun, eyes closed and a smile on his face.

"It is," she agreed, her smile audible in her voice as she also turned her face towards the sun closing her eyes.

For a moment, they both sat in a companionable silence, enjoying the sunny day and the peacefulness of the beach with the waves being the only sound around them.

After a while, Jane was getting fidgety and Lisbon smiled to herself.

"You just can't sit still, can you?" she teased her eyes closed.

She could feel Jane turn towards her slightly, but still sitting close enough to keep in physical contact.

"I get bored easily," he responded and Lisbon just knew that she was going to be in trouble soon.

She opened her eyes and looked at him and was startled by him looking at her. Instead of the mischievous glint and curiosity that she had expected, she saw tenderness and fondness. Her eyes widened at the unfamiliar sight, but Jane seemed happy for her to see what he genuinely felt.

"How are you holding up?" he quietly asked as he tried find the answer in her face.

Lisbon stuttered for a second as she wasn't used to being the receiving end of Jane's quest for answers.

"I'm fine," she finally managed to get out, which didn't seem to satisfy Jane, but before he could open his mouth to dig in further, she continued without knowing exactly why, except it felt right to be truthful.

"I have been thinking about how my life would be different if I had stayed with Greg," she said slowly as she stared out to the sea in her effort to avoid looking at Jane.

To her surprise Jane was silent, but she could feel his head tilting to one side as he waited for her to elaborate.

"I have come to accept that I won't have children, but I find it difficult to accept that I might end up being alone," she managed to say and it was only because they were in so different environment from their usual surroundings that it came out at all.

Somehow the fact that they were so removed from their everyday lives made it easier to talk but still Lisbon closed her eyes and leaned back against the wood in an effort to not look at Jane. To her surprise her neck came into contact with Jane's warm arm and her eyes opened in shock.

She found Jane looking at her with look that she had never seen before, a mixture of fierceness and determination. Jane gently placed her hand on her shoulder as she leaned against his arm and tugged her until her head was resting on his shoulder.

"You don't deserve to be alone," he said with conviction.

Lisbon had gotten over her initial shock and decided to just go with the flow. After all they weren't working, they were alone on a remote beach, who would see them anyway? She rested her head against Jane's shoulder and snuggled closer to him, inhaling his familiar scent and enjoying the feeling of his arm around her.

"You are a brilliant, beautiful, loyal woman, although stubborn," Jane continued causing Lisbon to roll her eyes, "and you deserve to be cherished and loved for every day of your life," he finished quietly, his voice just audible above the breaking waves.

Lisbon couldn't believe her ears. Did Patrick Jane just confess to loving her, in his typical roundabout way? She felt a surge of hope breaking free and she couldn't but feel flutters in her chest.

She raised her head and looked up to Jane's eyes and immediately saw that her interpretation must have been correct, based on how nervous he looked.

XXX

He hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that, but her willingness to open up to him as well as her acceptance of physical closeness had made his control slip. Her soft body resting tightly next to his and her head resting on his shoulder while he could gently stroke her shoulder with her accepting it all like it was perfectly natural had made him want to reassure her that she deserved happiness. He hadn't meant to let it slip that he wanted it to be with him.

For some time now, he had been aware of his feelings towards the petite woman. They had slowly grown and the feelings had been built on the solid foundation of their friendship and in the end he couldn't fool himself anymore but had to face the feelings full on.

He had been surprised that it had felt natural and right as he had expected some guilt to remain. As soon as he had accepted the feelings, the only thing left was how to tell Lisbon as it needed to be timed right.

The minute he had seen the relaxed face of Lisbon on an empty beach, his mouth had apparently decided it was time, without consulting his mind, thus making him blurt it out. He had been slowly drawing circles on her shoulder and now he stopped as he stared at her face, afraid what he might see. Afraid that Lisbon wouldn't understand what he meant, afraid that she would understand, but not return his feelings.

XXX

Lisbon raised her hand and traced the hint of stubble on his cheek, slowly drawing her fingers along his jaw. She sat up, Jane's hand falling off her shoulder, his face facing the sand as he closed his eyes in what to Lisbon looked like pain.

Lisbon sat on her knees, facing Jane and put her hands on his shoulders, which made him to look up with a hint of hope in his eyes. Lisbon maintained the eye contact as she slowly shifted so that she was straddling him, Jane having lifted his hands to her waist as he looked at her in wonder.

Lisbon enjoyed the feel of solid and warm Jane underneath her as she slowly leaned forward finally breaking the eye contact as she closed her eyes just before capturing Jane's lips in a slow, delicious kiss.

He tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her against his chest as he responded to her kiss. Neither of them had really kissed anyone for a long time and they took their time as they perfectly meshed together, both leading and following in turn.

But all good must come to an end and they reluctantly departed. Lisbon rested her forehead against Jane's and they took a moment to regulate their breathing. After she felt more in control of herself instead of a slave of her feelings and sensations, she leaned slightly back to better look at Jane.

He looked gorgeous with his messy curls, his lips slightly swollen from their kiss, but it was his eyes that made her pay attention. He didn't even try to hold back, letting her see the hunger, lust and desperation, the love and tenderness and it made her breath hitch in her throat.

She responded by diving in for another kiss, slowly shifting her hips at the same time receiving a low moan from Jane for her troubles. Their kissing took a slightly more urgent pace as Lisbon threaded her fingers through his hair while his hands were freely roaming across her bare back underneath her top.

Once again she surfaced to take a breath and was delighted to see Jane's control slipping. She laughed and he growled in response as he quickly flipped her on her back coming to rest half on top of her. She squealed in surprised making Jane laugh at the very un-Lisbon like noise. His hand felt warm against her face as he stroked her cheek and she closed her eyes at the feeling. His solid weight against her body felt wonderful and she reveled in the feeling of him.

When he slowly kissed her again, his hand against her cheek, she responded eagerly resting her hand against his neck pulling him closer. He readily followed her guidance and shifted his hand against her hip. The kisses were becoming more urgent, deepening, exploring until they had to once again breathe.

Jane was breathing heavily when he looked down at her, his eyes vulnerable and serious.

"Teresa, I…" he started, but didn't finish as Lisbon rested her finger against his lips.

"I know," she whispered and hoped that her eyes gave her feelings away.

Jane seemed satisfied as his mischievous smile was back as he dipped his head and started kissing his way up from her belly and she descended into the bliss of Jane's lips and hands.

**The end**


End file.
